Oh S**T!

I thought I would share a quick story.  A true story.  It took place this morning but could just as easily have happened yesterday or the day before.  And it could happen again tomorrow.  Let's hope not...

The kidlets are eating solid foods and have a pretty diverse repertoire.  This means very interesting and often very messy stools.  The odor started filling the room as they were finishing their breakfast.  I didn't know who was to blame so I set myself up with 3 clean diapers and plenty of wipes, just in case.  I should explain that we change diapers on the floor in the play room.  Changing them on a table just doesn't work.  I need to be able to abort mission at a moments notice.  So we do it on the floor and have gotten very good at batting away the curious and often aggressive hands (and heads) of two while holding up the ankles and wiping the bum of the third. 

I started with Eli.  His diaper was pretty straight forward.  Messy but contained.  Despite their best efforts Annie and Mikie were held at bay.  Success.  But I still smelled something...

So I grabbed Annie with one hand while I threw Eli's tightly wrapped dirty diaper beyond the baby gate with the other.  Another mess.  And her's was not so contained.  Her pajamas were soiled, her bum needed cream (which I hadn't anticipated), and I looked up in time to see Mikie taking off with the wipes.  Crap.  I managed to get the wipes back from Mikie while pushing Eli's hand away from Annie's deposit.  Unfortunately I missed Annie getting her own hand into the mess.  Yuck!  So I stripped Annie, threw her soiled pajamas and diaper over the gate, cleaned her up, grabbed the diaper cream, applied the diaper cream, and put her back together.  Victory.  But I still smelled something...

Mikie!!!  Seriously?!?!  The champion of all messes.  It went all the way up his back and collected between his shoulder blades.  And yesterday's clementines had left him with a raw, bleeding bum.  Forget the wipes.  He needed a shower.  Hmmm.  He couldn't get in the shower with his clothes on and I couldn't get his absolutely destroyed onsie off without pulling it over his head and I couldn't pull it over his head with only one hand and I couldn't take my other hand off of Eli who was determined to get his hands (and mouth) on the onsie!  Crap again.  And I still had to figure out how and when to get the other baby gate up so that I could safely leave Annie and Eli behind... 

To be honest, I'm not sure exactly how it all worked out but it did.  It always does.  I can tell you there were crying babies, messy hands and a few not-so-nice words involved.