A tough decision

Bobby and I (as well as Annie, Eli and Mikie) have been blessed to have had my mom (nana) with us for the better part of the past 2 months.  To say we could not have done this without her would be a HUGE understatement!  Her presence has not only kept us sane but she truly has been the glue that has held this whole operation together (though she would NEVER admit this is the case).  She is wonderful with the babies and knows just when to jump in and rescue us (which is often).  She also makes sure all of the "behind the scenes stuff" gets taken care of which allows me more time to focus on the babies.  Taking care of 3 preemies fresh out of the NICU has been a bigger challenge then any of us could have imagined.  Even when everyone is having a "good day" the logistics are overwhelming.  There are many days when, despite our best efforts, mom and I look at each other about 3 in the afternoon and realize that we are both still in our PJ's and neither of us has eaten a thing all day!  "The babies come first" is our philosophy and that includes their bottles, their diapers and their mountains and mountains of laundry!

Having said all that, the time for her to return to her (normal) life in Goshen is fast approaching.  One night last week after a particularly crazy day Bobby looked at me and said "we can't do this without your mom.  We can't do this alone."  His solution?  I needed to take the kids and go with her to Indiana.  Now, don't get me wrong, it is a dream come true for me to be able to visit my hometown with my babies while they are still babies. But never in a million years would I have asked Bobby to spend much more then a week or 2 without the kids.  They are his favorite way to wind down at the end of a long day and he admits that when he thinks about life without them (and me?) for 4-6-8 weeks only two words come to mind - profound sadness.  This makes me profoundly sad. 

Despite his sadness he maintains that the only way the kids and I can get all of the help we need is to go to Indiana - even though he clearly gets the raw end of the deal - he gets left behind, alone, to work.  All I can say is that I am incredibly blessed to have a husband who is willing to put his own feelings aside for the good of his family.  Thanks babe!!!

Now, I don't mean to imply that we aren't getting any support here because that is not the case.  We have many wonderful family members and friends who have been a tremendous help to us - holding and feeding babies, preparing meals, helping clean around the house.  Unfortunately, we find ourselves (or I find myself) needing more help during the work day (while Bobby is working) and overnight (while Bobby is trying to catch at least a few hours of sleep in preparation for the next day's work).  

So Bobby, my mom and I will get on a plane this Friday and head to Goshen with our tribe.  I have already said a million apologies in my head to all of the unsuspecting passengers we will share our 2 hour flight to Chicago with.  The offers for help are already pouring in from the Goshen folk.  For that we are incredibly humbled and excited.  Some have even gone so far as to say "bring it on!"  To that I will respond "be very careful what you wish for..."